Developing Confidence

When it comes to seducing a girl, confidence is EXTREMELY important. Most of you already know this, but I'm going to break it down for you and also give you some ideas on how to get confidence.

If you think about it, confidence comes from 2 things. One of these things is "percieved value" and "experience". I'll break both these concepts down.

Percieved Value

"Percieved value" is how you percieve yourself and others. This is the answer to why you might get nervous around a particular girl. In your mind she's WAAAAY above you, while you're just "lucky" to talk to her. This is wrong. Instead, you should be percieving yourself as much higher than her. When you believe that you're lower value, you're constantly trying to impress her, which is a turn-off for women. Instead, you must flip the table so that she is trying to impress you.

The mind is very powerful and "social value" is an illusion. If you believe in your mind that you're the coolest f*cker on Earth, then you're going to act accordingly. You will treat others like you're better than them and they'll buy into your "frame" and act like you're better than them, also. This is because they pick up on signals from your vocal tone and body language that you're "better" than them (or at least believe you are). So how do you display confidence in your body language? Look at confident people around you. They walk around with their back straight, head up and they're relaxed. From now on, walk slower. Don't walk like a snail, but walk slightly in slow motion. It shows that you're relaxed and comfortable in your environment and therefore displays value.

Ask yourselves who has more value in a club. The guy who's eyes are nervously darting around looking at people and has a slouching posture or the guy who looks like he's having fun, while he's relaxed and talking to 2 gorgeous women? Obviously the latter.

When you're talking, speak louder, pause in between words and slow down. This will cause more people to pay attention to what you're saying, because you're speaking with authority.

Anyways, back to my point. Confidence is displayed by showing "alpha" body language and by believing that you are higher value. A trick that works for some people to make them more confident is to go infront of a mirror and say positive things about themselves. These are called "affirmations". Some people even get hypnotised into acting confident, while others gain it through experience, which brings me to my next point.

Experience

Another way of building confidence is to get used to doing something. An example of this is approaching women. The first time I approached a random woman, I was nervous as f*ck. The second time, less so and as I approached more, I got used to it, began to see paterns and became more comfortable with it. I'm now confident with approaching women. I've approached women enough times, that my mind is now used to it and I am no longer nervous. Once you do something a lot, you'll get used to it and gain confidence in that area. There's a third way of gaining confidence as well, that is crucial.

Success

Another way to become more confident with yourself is to constantly succeed. By constantly succeeding, you'll trust yourself more. Self trust is confidence. At first you probably won't succeed though, so don't get discouraged. As long as you tried, you succeeded, because you learned something. Every "failure" is actually a learning experience. Try something, fail, improvise and succeed.

Once you do this enough, you'll slowly build confidence. Understand, confidence will not come over night. It takes a long time to build up. Keep with it and never give up. 

This Article was Written by #1 a member of the Street Team.