I like to think of myself as a classy guy. My mother instilled chivalry in me before I can remember. As a kid she convinced me that being polite had its rewards. As a result, I found it fun opening doors for people. Offering seats and paying for dinner are all things I can pin on her. I won't let my father go unnoticed though, since he too is at fault. One of my earliest memories is of him smacking me on my birthday for not offering a girl a seat next to me. You could say, the asshole in me never stood a chance.

I find it surprising when guys tell me they only pay for their half when dating. It comes off as cheap to me. I can understand their rational, but it doesn't mean I'll ever accept it. I see these guys as the men who refused to let the women & children get off the sinking ship first. They're the ones that grab the only parachute. It's fucked up is what I'm saying.

I attempted to let women pay for their half when I first started dating. I didn't yet see the crassness of it all. I thought it was what people did. How I handled it was by allowing a girl to pay if she insisted more than two times. In the meantime, I'd give her every opportunity to put her pocketbook away. I've probably only allowed a girl to pay her half twice in my life. It could be less.

With that said, sometimes you meet the girl who refuses generosity. She's the type of girl that gets angry when the waiter gives you the check. She'll bitterly demand it and even issue a thinly veiled threat. I've succumbed to this type before. Feminism can be quite scary, although she may have simply been having some lady issues that week. Regardless, I relented for one of the few times in my dating career.

Nowadays women don't stand a chance. Even the quick ones can't beat me to the check. If she's able to pull out her card, mine will already be out on the table. After that, I'll tell them, "Too late. Maybe next time." Sometimes they'll visibly frustrated, but deep down I think they appreciate it. I don't know if it's because they find chivalry romantic or have been on one too many "cheap dates", but there's something about generosity that's as sexy as it is charming.

The weirdest, and perhaps scariest, moment of my life occurred after a date in NYC. I had been unable to reserve a table at a speak-easy type bar and ended up taking my date to a random bar on the same block. This bar wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but the drinks were a bit on the pricey side. My date had a few mixed drinks while I attacked the great assortment of Scotch they had. Afterwards, we got in my car and she told me she needed to tell me something. I told her to just tell me. She said she couldn't and that she was embarrassed. This went on for a few minutes as a million things went through my mind. I thought, what the fuck is going on? I couldn't get the idea that this chick could possibly be a transsexual. I understandably started freaking out while trying not to show it. She finally leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Thanks for paying." I later found out that she did not in fact have a penis. She just never met a guy before whose dad wasn't against smacking a brat on his birthday.